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Self love: Why are we kinder to others?

Self love: Why are we kinder to others?

It is easy to love yourself on good days when your self-esteem stands high due to a good word or compliment from those we love most. We tend to abandon our self-love when we fail and when things get out of our control. Most of the time, when we’re being too hard on ourselves, we do it because we’re driven by a desire to excel and do everything right, all the time. What we do when others are not excelling?  Do we judge our best friends, our parents, siblings, or our children as harshly when they fail?  What prevents you from having the same compassion for yourself that you have for others? 


Self-love is an attitude towards our inner self. It’s like an umbrella of self-respect and self-care. Why are you looking to others to validate your being? Are you drained out emotionally and feel like your power is taken away? The small steps towards self-love are to start understanding yourself, accepting yourself, and aligning with your own values. What if perfection is just a point of view?  So why not change the point of view you are taking?  


Try to reframe your judgment into positive feedback towards yourself. Moderate your thoughts and make them conscious. Every time you think something unkind to yourself, imagine yourself as a small child, imagine looking into their eyes, and consider the truth you would tell them.  Would you say you’re unattractive, or would you find the beauty that’s before you?  Would you criticize and belittle your lack of knowledge or praise the wisdom you do possess?  The tone, the approach, the kindness, gratitude, all change, as your point of view changes.  You try to understand their approach to the problem, make them feel understood, and advise them. Hold yourself in this love, like you would the most precious person to you.  Breathe deeply and imagine the love and acceptance filling all of you. Love is omnidirectional, so you are just adding yourself to it, a “me too” in the big picture of life and your life will change forever


Eventually, by reflecting on these things, you will see a change of your inner critic.  If you catch it more often.  You question it more.  You do it less.  You begin to show yourself the kindness and gratitude you show others.  Self-love isn’t selfish or self-centered or indulgent. It acknowledges your basic worth and also requires that you take care of that worth by actively nurturing yourself and others through loving behavior. Mastering the love for yourself is the key to mastering your success, abundance, and joy.  To be anything to anyone, you must first be your best friend. 


Do you want to know who you will become if you start loving yourself? Do you want to see how it is possible to love yourself?  Book a session today and become your biggest supporter.  

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