08 Jul Does the apple fall far from the tree?
Have you ever found yourself thinking “Oh my god, I sound just like my mother or father”? Have you considered it as something good or bad? When we grow up, we tend to develop emotional patterns and connections which lead to the repetition of these roles in adulthood.
It is from our earliest childhood experiences and interactions with our parents that we learn about ourselves and the world. We tend to behave like actors, performing without a script to guide us. Even through difficult interactions our mind remembers exactly how to react and recreate what we are accustomed to.
There are many reasons for these patterns to replay.
We might feel obliged to act a certain way or maybe we never had permission to think and decide for ourselves so we simply don’t know how to do it. Hence we give power to others.
We choose to keep ourselves small to avoid conflict.
Many of us have experienced abuse that propelled us to develop coping mechanisms of either submission or rebellion, enabling us to “survive” at the time. This often results in the confusion and acceptance of pathological and harmful behaviours (whether as future victims or aggressors).
We might have been raised in admiration for our parents and think that we do need to be like them to achieve success, therefore we agree to be and do exactly as instructed. We decide that it is the right thing to do to uphold the legacy, to feel worthy of their approval and love, even if the price to pay is our own integrity. Sometimes this is the only way to establish a connection and have a sense of belonging…
We have been told that it is genetic therefore it can not be affected or changed and will be passed on. May it be our looks, behaviours or even diseases. So we accept that fate as ours without questioning it or considering other possibilities/options.
As children, we observed our parents/guardians and came to conclusions that are shaping our life. These conclusions derive from the judgement of ourselves and others which are nothing else but limitations that keep us stuck. It is time to refresh our point of view!
Whichever pattern we are replaying, whether consciously or subconsciously; out of love or out of fear, it does not have to dictate our life forever!
What if instead of judgement we could step out and see through the eyes of an observer to be able to realise what is really going on?
What if it was enough to know that when you choose to change the whole dynamic shifts too? All your relationships, your reality adjust to you instead…
What if there was more than one choice and it is yours to take?
What if you could live from a place of action instead of reaction?
What if these patterns could cease to exist once you realise why they were there in the first place?
Could you acknowledge that you came from that specific family tree, but you are an apple with a unique taste, look and purpose? You have your unique gifts, abilities and you do not have to copy anyone! There is no one like you in the world.
Would you like to shift from judgement and a constant fight against what you think is right or wrong about your parents/guardians, about yourself? You could be grateful for what you choose to accept as yours and feel comfortable in your own skin.
Book with one of our coaches to discover and step onto your own path with ease and freedom.